Relationships have truly gotten a bad rap. In fact, they're frowned upon by many because they actually tend to hurt, more than they help.
Sad but true!
Monogamous relationships aren't the majority anymore. You know like they were back in the day when people actually cared about a person's heart. When a gentleman, or a woman, vested their time in someone because they genuinely loved-love. And if, or when, things went wrong they fought to make things right; they fought for each other because love conquered all.
These days, people enter relationships for all the wrong reasons and when the relationship goes sour, THEY BAIL. They move on to the next person who, inevitably, will help them continue the cycle of dead-end romances. And after years of attempting to find love, they're left with broken hearts, misguided connections and spite toward the opposite sex. But what people fail to see isn't that relationships are bad—because they're not—what they fail to see is that the problem lies within themselves.
Stop playing the blame game and grow up. Break yourself from outside reality for awhile and allow yourself some 'me time'.
I know—I get it—cliché, but you really do need time.
Buy yourself a journal—men+women—and document your journey. Unless you allow it, no one will see your words or read what you write; but God. Write down everything that is missing in your life; what you want in someone else and what you, personally, need. This will help transform the way you think about dating, the way you think about other people, and most importantly, it will open your eyes to the greatest gift—it will show you that you held the answers to your happiness all along. It's during this time of transformation that you realize how worthy you are and why you can no longer settle for just anyone. And that is a beautiful thing.
Before you begin a new relationship, here are 3 things, I think, you must successfully complete before dating:
1. THE PAST: The past is gone! If your last relationship has ended—mourn it—because like death, ending a relationship means you have to grieve. Cry over it, talk about it, resolve it and close it. Wash your hands from it, it's done; it's over. Accept it and move on. If you can't seem to do that, then you have no business dating. That is one of the most selfish things you can do to someone else. No one wants to be the rebound—let alone fall for you—when your heart is somewhere else. So if it's completely over, end it! And then give yourself some time, plenty of time, before jumping into someone else's life.
2. THE PRESENT: The present is about you—rip jeans and all. You will never, ever, ever, find true love until you learn to love yourself first. When you get to a point, in life, when you genuinely love yourself, you learn how to say NO to things that aren't worthy of your time, and that includes people. Love yourself enough to know that you deserve better than one-night stands with humans who want nothing more from you than a temporary feel.
3. THE FUTURE: "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." —HEBREWS 11:1
How awesome is the bible? It gives us the answers to life, all we have to do is open it, read it and believe it. God is the key! Make sure your relationship with The Lord is where it needs to be before you begin a relationship with anyone else.
Every single day I talk to God; all day throughout the day, I'm constantly in his ear. In fact this morning I woke up around 5ish and as I laid in bed I looked up and said, "Are you awake God? Because I'm awake." My relationship with Him is rock solid and I cannot function in life without His guidance. I wasn't always this person. It has taken me years to get to where I'm at, not because I didn't believe, but because I didn't know better. Now—there is nothing I won't do without his instruction—and this includes dating+men.
Don't get stuck in a rut with the wrong person or people. 1. Let go of the past. 2. Love yourself. 3. Get good with God. He knows what you need. And when He feels you are ready for that blessing, He will make it so evident, you will not know what hit you.
There is someone out there praying for someone like you.
...but before you two can meet, you have to be aligned with the right things in your life. You do the possible and allow God to take care of the impossible. Then wait your turn and wait your time, for it is His will, not yours.