Who I was at 18 is not who I was at 28. Who I was at 28 is not who I was at 38. Who I was at 38 is not who I AM at 48. You see, the girl I was at 18 no longer exists, in a sense, she died as I evolved. And although society deems 18 as the magical number—you know, the one that leads to adulthood—it isn’t. Evolving is one of the most beautiful transformations a person will endure in life. And it’s that progression that molds us into the person we are meant to be.
The girl I was at 18 was naive, fragile, and very insecure. I searched for love in all the wrong places. I followed the crowd. I forced doors open that weren’t meant for me. I was young, I was lost, and I hadn’t a clue.
Looking back though, it was part of the process. The good and the bad, right choices and wrong ones, it was all pivotal in breaking me and making me. And as odd as it all sounds, I cherish that. Because I know, oh yes, now I know who I am.
The woman I am today is unapologetically fierce. A leader, no doubt. I'm less tolerant. I’m independent and wise and intelligent, savvy and funny and happy, yes happy. I live a peaceful, drama-free life. And when I find myself caught up in personal, worldly matters, I don't entertain it; I shy away. I use my voice for the better of me and when I think I'm a bit much, I quiet down. Because I know, oh yes, now I know who I am.
And my relationship with God, well, it is the most beautiful relationship I will ever find. God doesn't judge me by how I look. He isn't amused with money or status. He doesn't care if I'm skinny or fat, tall or short, pretty or not. He isn't concerned with people and what they think of me. He prefers to know what I think of myself and how I treat people.
God is the reason for my solace. He's the glue that holds me together. He's the one I turn to for answers. And the key to my success. He directs me in paths I didn’t know existed. He’s the strongpoint, the lead, the truth to my life. It’s His goodness that stops the chaos. It’s His ways that bring peace in my soul. It’s His guidance that leads me to great friendships. And it is Him that is leading me in the direction [and timing] of my soulmate.
He is the answer!
And it's His love that gives each and everyone of us a genuine peace that no other human being on earth, can ever fulfill.
In my past, I always knew about God but I did things my way. Today, I can boldly tell you that my ways are not His ways. And without God, I am nothing. He is my present. He is my future. And He is, what makes me.