Yaya

DATING AN OLDER MAN AND WHY I WAS TOLD NOT TO DO IT

Yaya
DATING AN OLDER MAN AND WHY I WAS TOLD NOT TO DO IT

She always told herself she would never become reliant on coffee, or a man. But she drank it often and she loved him hard. She knew she'd be fine without coffee and a man, but life was so much better with a good cup in one hand and a good man holding the other.

SHE JUST MADE SURE BOTH WERE WORTHY OF HER ADDICTION.

7C

My morning thoughts today held true. And while I ate my toast and drank my coffee, I got to thinking about dating.

In today's world, women are (sub)consciously told what to do, how to dress, what to eat, who to like, what to follow—but they're never asked, they're simply told. So I'm going to ask. Have you ever given much thought to what you genuinely like? Not what the world tells you, but what you like.

A while back I was having dinner with a friend who by the way is a late 30's—10 years younger than me—fun-loving, serial-dater; a point I need to make so you can understand a bit more. 

As we ate, she continued to press me about getting back into the dating scene. Her thought process was so on-point, I swear her words had verbal bullet points.

She had a rhythm and a reason for each of her thoughts. And was extremely adamant about getting me back on the horse; the "dating trail" as she so called it.

However, one thing she insisted—that struck a chord, per se—was that I stay away from older men. 

"OLDER MEN ARE THE DEATH OF A 40+ YEAR OLD WOMAN."

She said loudly...

So I stopped the convo and asked her to explain. Here's what she told me:

  • Older men are boring. 

  • Older men, only, have eyes for younger women.

  • Older men can't have sex anymore.

  • Older men are fat, out of shape and unhealthy.

  • Older men are set in their ways.

  • Older men need you to babysit them.

Now, I couldn't argue with logic; some of what she said held true. But I also felt that as an older woman you have to be smart. You have to know the man, his patterns, and his current & past behaviors—even his actions on social media will tell you a lot. Trust me you will see red flags, if they exist. So if you're a woman in her 40's, you've probably seen it all; you've experienced enough to know better.

Dating isn't fun but it's also not rocket science.  

AS FOR OLDER MEN, HERE'S WHAT I THINK AND WHAT I HAVE TO SAY:

First, allow me to clarify. When I say "older men", I'm referring to men in their 40's & 50's.

And while I have heard the stories of the older man chasing the younger girl, I don't think all older men fall into this category; it's simply not a fair assumption. 

Do I think older men are boring? Absolutely not! Boring to some is wisdom to others and I personally relish a mature, wise man.

And saying all older men are fat, out of shape and unhealthy is like saying all older women are fat, out of shape and unhealthy.

SUCH A LIE!

Older men, however, are set in their ways; no different than older women are. It's a true balance and those who are dating, in their later years, need to understand this and come to good terms with it.

And if you are an older man who relies on a woman for pampering of the ego—go away. I don't know any woman, regardless of age, who enjoys a big ole' baby.

As for sexwell–say it ain't soI guess only time will tell, right? 

But if you're a woman who "deal-breaks" on the sex issue, then you my dear need-not-go any further. Go play cougar in young-boy town and don't waste his time. He's too mature for that.

SO WILL I DATE THE OLDER MAN? Absolutely. If you know anything about me, it's this: I'm not interested in boys, I left that behind in high school. I'm just a woman who knows her worth; and simple things are my addictions.