With a few days lingering and right on cue—on the fourteen day—of the second month—people (men) will be scrambling to stores looking to buy LOVE. It's Valentine’s Day of course; the one day out of the year when you go out of your way to show someone you love them, right? 


Retail brainwash is what I call it; quite clever too. Somehow retailers have successfully manipulated America into thinking true love can be bought. 

Think about it!

Love is not for sale and yet we are suckered into this annual celebration as if it was Independence Day. 

It's the one day out of the year, more-so than ever, where women strategically stress men out; and men, well, they go crazy-broke trying to keep themselves from fighting the inevitable.

It's a man-made, materialistic holiday that caters to social media, and according to some women, if not properly managed, can cause some serious drama in the relationship, even a strong one. How sentimental and sweet.

But enough of that, let's get romantic...

  1. Go out and buy her that giant teddy bear for $75 that will sit in her closet the following week; and everyday there after until she donates it to Goodwill.

  2. Don't forget the fancy box of chocolates that will probably set you back another $50—and if you're lucky—it'll also be the reason (you) get blamed for her 5lb. weight gain come spring. 

  3. Throw in the flowers, that will die in a few days, but say I LOVE YOU, in a $250 dollar kinda' way.

  4. Let's not forget dinner because she has to eat; and it's Valentine's Day, so she isn't accepting anything cheap. Yea, throw it down; another $100.

  5. You're already in the hole approx. $475 but we can't stop there. There's also champagne & wine, jewelry, lingerie, clothes—it's a never-ending nightmare—and quite possibly the worst 24 hours of a man's life. 

That is what Valentine's Day has become!

Congratulations men! With the help of retailers, and sadly, competition amongst women, you have officially contributed your part in creating a giant, beautiful monster—all in the name of LOVE (I think)—and a lil' naked man, sporting a diaper and a giant bow n' arrow.

Don't blame cupid though! No whining allowed. In an effort to indulge her every whim throughout the years, you've allowed this expectation to grow. Now she lives for this day; and on February 14th of each year, she auto-expects it. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Note to Men:

Don't buy her roses on February 14th. Surprise her with flowers on a random weekday when THE WORLD is silent and no one is watching.

Now that is love.