Non-negotiables—or deal-breakers, as some call it—are the foundation that drives your relationships. Whether it's your career, your family, a love interest; deal-breakers are the fishbowl to any successful relationship.
Allow me to clarify.
When I use the term 'needs', I'm not referencing neediness or clinginess; that's a whole different story. Non-negotiable needs are the things you REQUIRE in life—for yourself—and from other people. After all, it's your life, you get to pick and choose how people treat you, and what you want and don't want. Yes, that's the way it works.
I am not a fan of dating, I've written about this a million times. Sometimes I wish I could snap my fingers, and the man God has in-store for me would magically fall from the sky. It would eliminate all dating woes and mishaps—and make life so much easier. But that's unrealistic.
Dating is overrated and sometimes taken too serious, too soon. Don't overlook what you want and need and require in a relationship just to fill a lonely void. Move on quickly and get on with your life. Eventually someone will come along, someone who has the qualities you cannot live without—but you will never meet that person if you get stuck with the wrong one.
Long haul, compromising your non-negotiables will only make you unhappy, and sadly, it's also the reason many relationships fail.
Throughout my dating life I've met a lot of wonderful men who were sweet, kind, smart, funny—some of the qualities I love in a man—but they were all missing one or two items on my non-negotiable list. They weren't for me.
One man I dated for a minute was sexy and fun, witty and brilliant. He was financially stable, super sweet and treated me ever-so-gentlemanly—a great catch for many women—but one of the “stay away from” items on my non-negotiable list is a man who isn’t aligned with God’s word. When I realized he wasn't on board with Christian values, I knew I had to walk away.
Many women, and men too, [settle] for someone who they believe is good for them. They blindly oversee their very own core values and beliefs. Knowing what you want, in a relationship, makes the transition of moving-on, an easy one.
As much as I loved what some men in my past have brought to the table. I needed to stand up. I needed to say no. And I needed to walk away.
DEAL-BREAKERS are an absolute necessity.
Make yourself a list of the 10 most valuable dating no-no's. Then take your list of 10 and condense it down to the 5 most crucial in your life.
Your top 5 are your non-negotiables—STICK TO THEM—otherwise, compromising yourself will only put you in a position to fail.