Non-Negotiable needs—or deal-breakers as some call it—are the foundation that drives your relationships. Whether it's your career, your family, a love interest; deal-breakers are the fishbowl to any successful relationship. 

Allow me to clarify.

When I use the term 'needs', I'm not referencing neediness or clinginess; that's a whole different story; and a sad one at that.

So cheers to strong women who aren't clingy.


However, non-negotiable needs are the things you REQUIRE in life, for yourself, and from other people. After all, it's your life, you get to pick and choose how people treat you, and what you want and don't want. That's the way it works.

I am not a fan of dating, I've written about this a million times; in fact I cringe at even saying the word. Sometimes I wish I could snap my fingers, and the man God has in-store for me would magically fall from the sky—eliminating all dating woes and mishaps—but that's unrealistic.

One thing I do know for sure is this, the most important four-letter word in dating is:


Dating is overrated and sometimes taken too serious, too soon. Don't be afraid to say bye! Don't overlook what you want and need and require in a relationship. Quickly move on ALONE and get on with your life. Eventually someone will come along, someone who has the qualities you cannot live without—but you will never meet that person if you get stuck with the wrong one. 

Long haul, compromising on your non-negotiables will only make you unhappy, and sadly, it's also the reason many relationships fail. 

Throughout my dating life I've met a lot of wonderful men who were sweet, kind, smart, funny—some of the qualities I love in a man—but they were all missing one or two items on my non-negotiable list.

One guy I dated, in particular, was sexy and fun, witty and brilliant. He was financially stable, super sweet and treated me ever-so-gentlemanly—a great catch for many women—but one of the items on my non-negotiable list is a man who worships the Lord. When I realized he wasn't on board with God and Christian values, I knew I had to walk away. I said goodbye; I was done. 

Many women (and men too) sell out for someone who they believe is perfect. They blindly oversee their core values and beliefs. And I'm here to tell you, there isn't a single human worthy of your self-respect.

Knowing what you want, ahead of time, makes the transition of moving-on, an easy one. As much as I loved what he brought to the table, I was not going to compromise my love for God. 

DEAL-BREAKERS are an absolute necessity.

Make yourself a list of the 10 most valuable dating no-no's. Then take your list of 10 and condense it down to the 5 most crucial in your life.

Your top 5 are your non-negotiables—STICK TO THEM—otherwise, compromising yourself will only put you in a position to fail.