You know the phrase, “Be a nice human!”?
I actually live by it.
But there is one place where it doesn’t always apply, at least for women anyway—and that's with men.
As women, no matter how tough we act, we all want the gentleman. We all want a [gentle] man who makes us feel special, we crave that. And in turn, we think men want that too—but they don't.
In the beginning men are simple! They're not looking to fall in love. They want good sex, good food, and/or a good time. And along the way, if they feel a connection, you will know it, because they will show it.
Men love to be challenged, whether it's a subconscious characteristic or even an ego thing, that's a fact. When it comes to dating women, it's all about the alpha-male complex. Sounds kind of chauvinistic, I know, I get it, blah! But I don't know any man who gets excited with a push-over.
Listen, no matter how hard you've fallen or how bad you've been hurt, be thankful for the experience. As crazy as it sounds, one of the most rewarding things a woman can endure in her lifetime—is a heartbreak. It's a life-lesson that teaches us growth, wisdom & what not to do.
Here's what I say about dating a new man:
Don’t tell him you’re falling for him— so soon. Let him earn it. Make him fall for you too.
Don’t always be available. Even if you're at home doing nothing, it's ok to say no.
Don't act needy. A needy person is a turn off.
Don't get attached. If he's not calling you after one date, so what, keep your life going.
Don’t plan your life around his. You had a life before he came around. Remember that!
Don’t be the one calling him. But if he calls you, don't play games either, answer.
Don’t make him dinner. Save your cooking skills for the man who earns it.
Don’t continuously accommodate him. If he wants to do something specific and you don't, tell him!
Don’t be eager to jump into bed. ENOUGH SAID!!!
Don’t buy him material things. Only a committed boyfriend deserves this blessing.
Don't beg! If a man is NOT interested— let him go. Better to be single, than hurt or played.
Don't stalk his social media. As hard as it is not to do, because it is hard, save your dignity. MY GOSH grab your humility and move on!
And one last thing. In your lifetime you will encounter all types of men. But there is one man [in my opinion] you may meet, that will stand out more than any other. (close your ears mom)
This is the one who is upfront, with no filter, no manners, and a careless heart. And although he's a jerk, make sure you say thank you as you kick him out the door —at least I hope you kick him out.
The reason for the thank you?
He's the one that after a date, or two, clearly shows you, or even tells you to your face that he is not interested in you.
That, to me, deserves a thank you—even if it's a pretentious one—say thank you because he didn't lead you on. He may be the biggest douche-bag but he didn't pretend to like you, just to get what he wanted and to use you..
Looks, money, physique, none of that matters. In a way, he saved you from a possible, future heartache. And although it may have bruised your ego, it didn't crush the heart.
He didn't lead you on so don't get crazy and vengeful, cry or act desperate, gracefully say thank you, goodbye, and shut the door in his face!